The Problem Is Me...

1 John 3:4-10:

"Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 5But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. 6No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

7Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. 9No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother."



When I started this blog I wrote two blogs mildly berating the extreme liberals and conservatives in the church, politically and theologically speaking. But I promised I would write a blog that confronts the biggest problem in the church today: ME. Ok, I am not trying to look for self-pity or reassurance that I am a good Christian. And I don't mean me alone. I mean all of the "ME's" in the church. But I know this me, Laura G., the best so it is fitting that I use myself as the subject.

I sin every single day. I see a homeless person on the side of the road and don't even contemplate if that is a need Christ wants me to meet. I get angry and swear under my breath at drivers who drive poorly. I waste hours of my day each day doing thing that certainly are not helping bring about anything of eternal value. I do not seek out the poor and engage them with food, drink or shelter the way Jesus does. I do not boldly proclaim tne gospel, in fact sometimes I am embarassed or dare I say ashamed of it. I too often set my bar of what to do against others in the church. I don't live radically because I see few others doing so and justify my inaction by their inaction. I think impure thoughts, I judge people on their outward appearance with very little look at their hearts, I say things about friends I shouldn't say. I wallow in my own problems and desires instead of looking at the blessing in my life. I commit SINS of comission and omission EVERY SINGLE DAY.
If we look at the verses I quoted above, it makes me question how well I know Jesus or if I've seen Him if I continue to sin as I do. How many of us really think of dying to our self daily? I don't. How often do I realize and admit that when I sin, I am ACTUALLY DOING THE WORK OF THE DEVIL? Not often enough.

Why don't I let myself be more transformed by Christ so that I can perform more righteous actions for Him as a testimony to who He is? A few things come to mind, I don't want to look TOO different from the CHURCH. I already know that I look crazy to the world because of my faith, but I don't want to look crazy to the church too! Where would I fit in? But haven't I missed the point? The world is not my home. Very rarely do routine mundane lives make an impact on this world for Christ. I also want to stay close to my family, geographically and thought wise. I don't want hundreds of miles to seperate us if that's what God wants me to do. I don't want the people I love the most not to get parts of me. And finally, it's hard! It takes a lot of tenacity and perseverance to live the life Christ calls us too and those aren't necessarliy fun things.

So, I think the ultimate problem with the world is obviously sin, but of greater concern to me personally are all the "Me's" in the church who settle for mud pie making Christianity when Christ offers us a holiday at the sea Christianity, to steal a concept from C.S. Lewis. This world will not be radically changed without all the little me's in the church being the radical change agent Christ calls us to be.


Ok, I wrote everything above this morning, Wednesday, March 12th. And then I was reading "Desiring God" this afternoon by John Piper. It's so cool to me when God links what we are thinking and learning so directly. So here are a few excerpts from Desiring God that pertain to my thoughts:

"An Almost Unbelievable Indictment of Western Christianity"
"....In Paul's radically different viewpoint I saw an almost unbelievable indictment of Western Christianity. Am I overstating this? Judge for yourself. How many Christians do you know who could say, "The lifestyle I have chosen as a Christian would be utterly foolish and pitiable if there is no resurrection."? How many Christians are there who could say, "The suffering I have freely chosen to embrace for the cause of Christ would be a pitiable life if there is no resurrection"? As I see it, these are shocking questions.....

"I say it again: the call of Christ is a call to live a life of sacrifice and loss and suffering that would be foolish to live, if there was no resurrection from the dead. This is a conscious choice for Paul. Listen to his protest, "If the dead are not raised, why am I in peril every hour? I protest, brothers, by my exultation in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die every day!"(1 Cor. 15:29-31) This is what Paul has chosen. He "protests" because he does not have to live this way. He chooses it: "In peril every hour!" "Dying everyday!" This is why he says he should be pitied if there is no resurrection from the dead. He chooses a path that leads to trouble and pain virtually every day of his life. "I die every day."


OH THAT I WOULD DIE EVERY DAY.

How We Change....

So my dad called me out on going on blogcation. It's true I kinda did. I went to Denver for a week to see a friend and kind of forgot about the internet for the most part. But I'm back for my handful of faithful readers. You are gonna get a little look into my past here today....
Growing up in Ohio, I had a pretty great childhood. I loved being part of a big family (by American standards)and enjoyed all the seasons Wooster offered. I imagined one day being just like my mom raising a family of kids in a small town in Ohio and being a stay at home mom. I mean I actually used to say I wanted 32 kids when I was younger and got mad when people laughed at me for saying such a thing. Now, I am not saying these things will not come to pass (except for the 32 kids part), perhaps they will. But something has happened in me since leaving good old Wooster, Ohio...
I LOVE TO TRAVEL. I absolutely love it. Now, you have to realize that although many of you may have known this for years and seen this in me, I don't think I really did until recently. I have had many friends describe me as very adventerous as of late, and my thought has always been "really?" I think I think that way because in many ways I am still that plain simple girl who wants to be a stay at home mom with her kids in rural America. But I've changed too. When I lived in Wooster last year I thought, I HAVE to get out of here AT LEAST once a month because it felt like there was no one (or very few) people like me there. So I went to San Diego,California, Raleigh, North Carolina multiple times, Dallas, Texas, The Central African Republic, Washington D.C., Cleveland and Columbus multiple times, and Chicago all in a span of less than 12 months!!! And you wonder how I didn't see myself as adventerous, well probably because most of the time I was just going to visit friends, and that to me showed me the importance I place on relationships more than my love of travel.
And then I moved to NC, back to the city with world minded people and people with similiar educational backgrounds. And I didn't feel the same need to get out. But you know what? I have gone just about as much! I've gone back to Ohio twice to see family,I have flown to Denver, Colorado for a week. I've visited the beaches of NC and the mountains, I'm taking a trip to Charlotte, NC next weekend, I'm going to Nashville, TN in April to run a race, and anytime anyone mentions a cheap road trip, I am so excited!!
So I guess I am adventerous and I have changed since those days as a small child in Ohio. I still hope God allows me to be a stay-at-home mom one day, that's my heart's desire and it always has been. But I think it's safe to say that "staying at home" will look way different to me and my kids than to most of those who grew up in Wayne county. I hope my kids are partly raised on a different continent and in different urban and rural settings in the U.S. This isn't a put down on the way I was raised, I LOVED my childhood. But I also love this amazing world that God has created and as much as He allows me, I intend to see and be a part of as many different cultures as is possible.
Watch my kids will probably move back to some place like Red Haw, Ohio, buy a plot of land, and never leave their "town" after the childhood I give them. But that would be ok too. It would actually give me a new place to visit. I've only ever driven through that wonderful place.