Wednesday, March 16, 2011

And Jesus said to him, "What do you want me to do for you?"

When a blind man hears Jesus walking by he cries out for mercy from Him. And in response Jesus says, "What do you want me to do for you?" So maybe, Jesus asks that question to all who cry out to Him for mercy?
I need verses like this because they remind me that Jesus is indeed personal. That "for you" on the end is something I cling to. So what do I want Jesus to do for me? I want Him to increase my faith. I want to have my unhealthy fear of God rid of. I want God to bring me a man that feels like the right fit. I want God to give me children. I want Him to give me joy and peace. I want God to give me the faith of the blind man that would lead me to cry out for mercy in the middle of a crowd.
Here is an edited journal entry I wrote on 10/22/01:
"Well, first I want to go to India my senior year and work in an orphanage. I don't know exactly what I would do, but I would hold them, love them, kiss them and embrace them. Maybe I could help them to begin recovering from emotional trauma and show them the hope of Jesus. Then I would come back and finish my senior year at Wheaton. The part of me that desires the nice and easy life wants to come back, be or fall in love, and get married when I am 23 or 24 years old. In between marriage, I would love to nany for some really rich people and get to travel with them to cool places. Once I get married, I would love to work in an adoption agency for awhile. I want to travel to third world countries and bring babies and children to their parents. I want to assess what parents fit with what children. I want to see the love and joy that comes from those unions. After about 3 or 4 years, I would love to have 5 children, and be a stay at home mom in rural America. When my youngest child would be about 6 years old, I would love to move to the inner city or at least volunteer at those highschools. I would want to teach or be a guidance counselor. I would want these kids to see the hope and future that God can offer them and then "retire". I want my years after 50 to be volunteering in the inner city in programs, my summers in India, pregnancy care centers and volunteering at adoption agencies. And finally I would love to have many grandchildren whom I love and care about."
It's funny to look back on who I was at 18, but in many ways I am the same. I have volunteered in the "inner city", I may live there next year, I have volunteered at an adoption agency, I have traveled to several third world countries, I have taught in the inner city, I still want to live in rural America and I still want to fall in love. So Jesus, this is still what I want You to do for me. Lord, have mercy on me.

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